Into the Unknown

At a very early age, I knew I was meant to live the atypical life. I was called to be different, set apart, and fully surrendered to something greater than my singular story. I could feel it the very moment I came to know God when I was mesmerized by the blue, red and white twinkle of the stars at the age of 5. I knew they had a creator and I wanted to know Him. From that time on, I have quested to discover the great artist of the stars and to know why He created this world, this time, and me within them.

Almost twenty years have passed, and I still ask the same questions from time to time. Of course, the questions are more specific. He has been very kind to speak to me about the specific ways that He desires to use me in the Kingdom that will come in my future, and I hold onto them as anchors for when my soul is prone to wonder. However, when my spirit desires specific answers or I feel anxiety set in over a new position/season/time around the corner, I always find the same tug at my spirit towards the simple belief that God is with me and I have nothing to lose even if I have no idea what I am doing. The truth is, with Him, I can’t even lose life itself.
 
I believe that being with Him is my true calling. But, when I think about the calling that I am walking out in the present season, as it is preparing me for callings to come,  I am not really sure why God chose me to do some of the work that I am doing now because it is very vulnerable and I have been given a small platform of influence. Probably contrary to popular opinion, I believe this slightly condescending thought is not totally unhealthy. It is the extravagant grace of God to use my thoughts, my voice, and my dreams to add to His kingdom. It's crazy, really, and He has been so kind to me in process.

Actually, He is consistently kind and will be completely present in every process...even the messy ones. I know this because He is particularly fond of anointing and creating legacies from humans that are consistently confused, sometimes a little insane, and ones that have an intense track record of blatant rebellion. However, each of His anointed was called to be with Him and release His fragrance and power in their time. Love minded them together, as love did the same with my increase in influence as well.
 
I think of David and how God anointed Him at an early age. He waited, was faithful in the small things and did the work that no one else wanted to do. He let God's power conquer fear and death itself with a single stone. He was anointed with God's favor in Saul's courts and was faithful to serve those appointed before him. David was undignified before God, dancing naked in the streets because of His goodness! And of course, he was incredibly human in his honesty with God.
 
I want to be a warrior like him. I desire his honesty and his willingness to be exposed.

Esther, the queen of her people… I think of her as well. Esther also had favor, so much that it saved her life. Her favor with King Ahasuerus was truly unfathomable. When she was called to enter his courts on behalf of the Jews, because she was afraid to expose her ancestry to the King.  Because of the risk of death at the exposure of her Jewish bloodline and an uncommon action to position herself before King Ahasuerus, Esther needed the Lord's favor to cover her in safety. She fasted in His presence, and her faith became stronger than her fear.

Her famous words: "If I perish, I perish."
 
And she didn't perish. Her people were freed. I want to have her courage and her faith.
 
I think of Ruth as well. She lost everything and the Lord redeemed what she lost through her persistence and obedience. Boaz took notice of her faithfulness, as she worked in the fields. As she began to notice him as well and seeking wise counsel from Naomi, she positioned herself to receive Boaz's favor. It would have been easy for Ruth to remain in the past, wishing for her old life to come back. She could have said that she wasn't worth the attention or recognition from such an honored man. However, she knew that God was calling her to let go and expose herself to the unknown. She allowed the Lord to redeem her through an unexpected way and an unexpected person.

Because of this piece of God's history with man and many others alike, I am beginning to understand more deeply that the Lord loves His holy family and He will use His sons and daughters to redeem brokenness.  The Lord allowed Boaz to love her deeply and it helped redeem the love she had lost before. Through the divine encounter and relationship, Ruth and Boaz gave birth to a son. Obed, the grandfather of David, was the unexpected gift from an unexpected encounter and eventually came the very expected King Jesus.
 
I desire her steadfastness and persistence with servanthood. I desire her risk and her willingness to receive redemption.
 
In the same vein, I think of Peter, who denied Jesus three times and was also appointed by Jesus to be the rock of the early Church. I think of Paul who was a murderer of Christians, but who was also one of the most renown apostles of the early church. Both saw and participated in some of the most creative and powerful miracles of God.

Most importantly, I think of Jesus who was undercover for most of His life, under the shadow of His Father's wing. He was born from and grew up in the unseen places. For most of His life, He fashioned Himself in hiddenness with the Father and loved His people. Then, at the "Kairos" time, He was completely anointed with the Holy Spirit… full of power and full of authority. He then walked His public journey with every ounce of zeal, love, peace, and patience the Lord had instilled in Him in hiddenness. His understanding of humanness allowed Him to touch His creation. His holiness allowed Him to heal His creation. His obedience and oneness with the Father allowed Him to give the entire Earth an opportunity to understand, to know, to breathe, and to live with God. His sacrifice, His love, the way He saw people with the mind of the Father, led us to life with Him in the present and life with Him in the Heavenlies.
 
I desire everything about Jesus.

This is the secret key to the unfolding of His kingdom: The Father will anoint anyone. He will rearrange, purify, mold, create, and cultivate what is dead or forgotten or unlikely or unexpected into streams of living water.
 
In other words, He will use you. He will use me.

You will be called to greatness like David, Esther, Ruth, Peter, and Paul; it will be in your own special way and you will do it completely with Jesus. You will not be satisfied with a mundane life. Your call in His kingdom will be ever turning, ever-changing, ever entertaining, and ever worth the cost.
 
You will walk out your calling by walking with Him on water into the unknown. You will conquer the waves of your past and fight to get in the secret place with Him. You will let Him unravel you as He gives you strategy to fight and the comfort you will need in the night. You will pay special attention to your story, because it's important. He will use every broken and fragmented part of your story to anoint you to set others free.

Like David He will give you power and authority at all times, and you will feel its true power when you don't have much to give. In your contemplative praying with the Lord about your call from season to season, you will be honest with Him. As you expose yourself in your time with Him, you will learn how to expose yourself even greater when you are walking out the calling you have received like Esther and Ruth did when the time was right.
 
You will be willing to deny yourself as you walk out your calling. Jesus carried a cross, and there will be moments in time that you will carry our own with Him. He will comfort and strengthen you in the process. You will toss your regrets into the wind and you won't allow them to determine your future. You will say yes to unlikely people and unlikely places. You will be willing to do the unexpected and to experience God's unexpected.

Fear will lose grip of you and your previous name will be rewritten… you will always remember that You are royalty, like Esther and David. Your positioning will be to receive wisdom, counsel, correction, failure, anointing, divine appointments, and favor. It is time to be radically obedient. You will continue to be radically obedient, even when you are asked to sacrifice.
 
You will be willing to hold tight to the words He has given you and to become a servant leader. Like Jesus, you will remain in hiddenness and He will expose you when it is time. God's presence, His power, His humility, connection, His boundaries, His defense, and the spiritual war around you will intensify over time and you will grow in them.
 
Like David, you will be yourself as you step into your place. You are the only you. Every moment of time is different, and when He appoints you, He appoints YOU. You will have gifts that only you have to give. So, you will not try to be anyone else, and but you will learn about your specific thread in His tapestry. You will create with Him.

Love will mark you. You will love people as you step into your calling through the eyes and mind of Jesus. Celebrating others' victories and the beauty that He has crafted each of them to release in the world will be a consistent pursuit in your life. You will celebrate the different God experiences that each person has that are different than your own personal relationship with Him. Like Ruth,  you will learn to love and enjoy and commit to the Holy family around you.
 
In the process, you will let God be God. With circumstances that make little sense, you will say, "I trust you." Independence is a death trap. You won't be shaken by it, and He will pull you in close through His Spirit and His people. You will look to the skies and see the stars. You will know He is with you, and you will seek Him for direction. You will ask Him for greater discernment and wisdom. Surrendering to His word will be your joy. You will know Truth so that you can stand the test in battle. You will not be easily deceived but know evil from good. Your clothing will be of grace and purity. You will clothe others in the same. Performance will not win. Perfection will not win.  There will be expectations of a mess with sparkle and redemption. Constant communication with Him will help remind your spirit of the season you are in and exactly what you are to do.

You will follow that lion wherever He goes.  

Author | Emily Helton