A Personal Invite to Encounter God

“Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.” - John 20:27

As I sit at my computer typing this post out, I can feel the anxiety coursing through my veins. For the last 3 weeks, a plethora of questions has been plaguing my mind and my prayers. In my head, I picture God sitting there, trying to maintain his composure while wanting to tell me to just shut up already and let him do his thing. That’s not the reality of who God is, though, just the mental image that I’m projecting on to him because I’m sure this is a common theme across our world today. We all have questions, we all have doubts right now because we’re facing something scary and new.
 
It seems ironic to look back upon this year and see that a common theme in what God has been speaking to me is safety. Over and over again the words “YOU ARE SAFE” are scribbled across my journal, marking each time I’ve felt fear, anxiety, or doubts plague my heart. Reading through this passage in John, those mirror the words that Jesus spoke to his disciples when he appeared – “peace be with you.” Safety. Peace. They feel like nice comfort words, words that we are able to experience in good seasons – in the moments where life is going well and we’re on that upward trajectory. But what about in the valleys? Those are when he whispers them the most, yet we feel like we can’t believe because of our circumstances.

Thomas was one who let his doubts take hold in the valley that followed Jesus’ death. He couldn’t believe that this man who had appeared to his friends was the resurrected Christ. He wanted physical proof to obliterate these doubts that had been plaguing him in the midst of what I’m sure was one of the darkest moments of his life. In this moment, many of us are facing doubts – doubts that God can heal brokenness and sickness, doubts that he will fulfill promises he’s made for our futures, doubts that we’ll make it through this, even. First things first, I think we need to all take a page out of Thomas’ book and let those doubts come to light.
 
“Don’t worry about anything, instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace...” - Philippians 4:6-7a (NLT)

There is a peace and a freedom that comes from admitting when you are falling short and need God’s reassurance. But the real kicker comes from his response to our doubts. When Jesus appears to the disciples again, he goes straight to Thomas and speaks immediately into his doubts. Instead of shame or condemnation, he invited him to come close and directly encounter the truth.
 
This is what God does in the light of our doubts and fears. He first addresses our safety and freedom to come to him, then invites us to come close and encounter the truth of who he is and what he has or can do. It’s a gentle invitation that places the response in our own hands. He won’t force us to believe, but instead offers opportunity to come into his presence and choose him over doubt.

The reality of this is calming. God isn’t dismissive of my doubts and definitely isn’t ashamed of them, so I don’t have to be afraid when I begin to question or wonder. In the light of this truth, I have the confidence to sit with God and be open, and in response he comes gently, reminds me that I’m safe in his presence and speaks his truth over my circumstances. I have permission to be afraid, but I also have permission to turn those fears over to him and receive his grace and strength in the midst of hard seasons. And he extends this invitation to all of us. We look at “doubting Thomas” as a character we don’t want to be, yet Jesus never once looked at him in shamefulness or condemnation. He looked upon him with love and mercy and allows for us to come to his throne in our doubts and imperfections to receive that same love and mercy. It’s not an expectation of perfection, but an opportunity for relationship and dependence.
 
Author | Emma Whitmer