The Outcome is Greater

To say 2020 has not been the year I was expecting is an understatement. Amidst a global pandemic and racial injustice I find myself questioning where God is in all of this. I would be lying if I said I haven’t gotten angry at God this year. I have felt more alone than ever and have been battling an eating disorder that seems to control me everyday.
Last week when I was talking to God and trying to make sense of everything going on in my life I felt him call me to read from the book of John. I was immediately drawn to John 11 that tells the story of Jesus resurrecting Lazarus from the dead. A few days after Lazarus’ death Martha, Lazarus’ sister, confronts Jesus saying,

“Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” - John 11:21
Martha did not know that Jesus had been planning on resurrecting Lazarus all along. During times of pain and suffering it can seem impossible to have faith in God’s plan for us. However, even when life seems to be going in a direction you don’t want to go, God is leading you there for a reason. Every moment of your life has been planned and serves a purpose, even the really hard moments.

While dealing with an eating disorder has felt demoralizing at times, I have learned so much about myself and the strength I never knew I had. The same has been true during the pandemic. Never before have I seen so many people embrace each other with love and learn what real intentional time with one another looks like.
God doesn’t put us in situations we can’t handle. He leads us places knowing that the outcome is greater than the process. He is with us during the most difficult times and sees the entire picture. Our Father loves us and will never lead us down a path we were not meant to be on.

Author | Caroline Newton





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